What do you start your day with? Is it setting the tone and intention for your day?

Today I am in white lace up tennis shoes. They have bright, like fluorescent bright, stripes on the sides that lead into bright laces. Every morning for the last two months now I have been working on developing a new routine. I have been working at it, and I have finally broken my old ways. I've got to a place where the new ways have become a habit. Do you know how long that takes? I have read that it takes 28 days to form a new habit or a new routine. But like most, I struggle to stick to things. I always have, however, when I say that I am just perpetuating my own internal struggle of self-doubt. I can honestly say this is something I am working on as well. Like I mentioned in my last blog my subconscious tends to get the best of me at times. Here I am a work in progress. With that said every morning I have been waking up and doing my morning different. I used to wake up and immediately grab my phone. Phone out…drown in the media, social or other, justify my "phone out" as reading, checking my email, I work from my phone, but who doesn’t, who can’t these days. So, I decided to stop, stop lying in bed for an hour, stop justifying that I needed to wake up slowly, stop making excuses. I stopped, and every morning I make a conscious choice to get up and choose different. For the last two months I got my lazy self out of bed, left my phone and choose to read. Every morning for the last two months, I peel myself out of my comfort zone, I put on my footie jammies, because we sleep better in subzero temperatures and I drag my groggy butt down stairs. I make my coffee and I read my bible. I read an entire chapter. I have multiple times in the last two months had to slap my own hand because it picks up the phone. I have had to talk myself out of phoning out. I have had to fight the urge to return to my old ways. That hand is searching, it is distracted, it is full of habit. My phone does not feed wholesome intention. It does not fill me with life and motivation for the day, so why, why is that the first thing that I reach for…well I know my why. Because it is habit, it is culture, it is normal, it is accepted, it is what we have become. When I was growing up a kid in the 80’s people worried about the TV, the tele, the things that you saw on the big screen. Well now we have access to the TV the tele the big screen and a plethora of other media social and not right at our fingertips. What are you doing with your phone? Are you addicted, do you even know what that means? A few months back I found myself asking myself a few questions. Am I feeding into the popular stigma, am I a cattle or biblically a sheep, am I following the norm, just because it is, or have I conditioned myself to just accept? Does that make it okay? Have I got to the point that I think a selfie is okay, am I justifying my actions, because of place and time, because it is the norm, because it just is…? But then I remember I’m not 25, I am 35 and when did 25 not become 35. When did I change? When did my awareness of myself and that which is not myself switch? I can’t pinpoint a specific thing, a specific time, a specific event. The shift just happened, gradually and over time and now that time has passed. Now I have changed, everything has changed. This is okay and change is the only thing that is a constant in this world so we must embrace it. So, I change and I have changed my habits and I wake up and I don’t touch my phone but I make coffee and I read my bible and I write out my prayers for others and I write down the things that I a grateful for, and then only then do I pick up my phone. I do this because I used to do this 10 years ago when I felt more grounded more at peace more whole, more whole as me. I had only fallen out of the habit, I had once again digressed as we all do. We all loose and gain new habits and sometimes we are not even aware that the process is happening. As a kid growing up I had a TV in my bedroom. With the VHS player. Every night for years upon years I would fall asleep to the TV, I literally could not fall asleep without the TV on. I went through kicks of watching the same movie over and over again for years. In my early 20's while living on my own with no roommates I decided to tackle this habit, to break it and to do something different. So, I did I read a book before bed sometimes I would fall asleep right away, and other times I would find myself lost in the fictional world and awake reading for hours. Oups, non the less it worked in the end and to this day I no longer fall asleep to the TV. There is no TV in our bedroom, and this is a conscious decision. I do have a tablet and occasionally or I should say on very rare occasions I turn on a show and fall asleep. But this is a rarity and no longer a need, a constant desire or a habit. If you are reading this and faith is not your thing, or you don’t rely on God to feed your soul and recharge you. I am in no way shape or form condemning you, but I will ask you. What recharges you? What feeds you? What fills you, so you have left over to give to others? What makes you smile on the inside? What do you enjoy? Personally, I love to take a bath, lock the door turn on music eat cheese, drink a porter, BATH. I love to do yoga (vinyasa flow), I love to lay in nature (not sit on a stump, for real lay) I usually must walk or hike to get there but nature. I love the ocean, I could sit on the beach and admire to power and beauty and vast nature of the ocean and somehow just be recharged. Or I could just sit on the couch and read with my weirdo cat on my lap. What recharges you? When I made the shift in my morning routine 2 months ago I also changed the way I prayed. Instead of thanking God for all that I have and asking him to show me the way. I started thanking him for all that he has blessed me with and asking him to “use me for his will” not my desires but HIS WILL. A few blogs back now I referenced this. Saying when you ask God to use you he does just that! Well that is it. When you humble yourself and ask to be a vessel you also must be prepared for the wrath of this earth. The temptations and distractions that will try to detour you, the enemy and his attempts to derail you. Back to where we started in this blog I broke free, I gave up the earthly me and I surrendered even deeper than I had before. I quieted myself, I hushed the me of this earth and I started to listen. I sat in my silence and concentrated on really listening, every morning, reading and praying and giving thanks and setting my intention for the day with God as the foundation. For every day that we wake up is a gift it is new. Every day is a chance to start different, the start fresh to start over. Every morning you wake up after hitting the reset button. And every day I am thankful that I even woke, because many don't. Tonight, on the MAX which is an electric train or above ground rail way on our way home from the US open soccer game I saw an opportunity. We were packed in like sardines, for lack of a better euphemism. It was crowded, standing room only. I just felt as I looked around and many were on their phones, looking down disconnected with the people around them. I felt like there is so much more. Like we are all longing for more. I turned on music on my phone and started to sing and dance. Sure, I got some looks “like what the heck” from my husband as well but he just knows that I am me. Next stop I turned off the music and put my phone away. I was a little disappointed. A stop later an older guy brought out his phone and started to play a few songs, talking to me and trying to engage a few others. A few tries and a few more people chiming in here and there me singing a few lyrics EXTREEMLY off key and a few more people started to engage. The guy was admittedly in his late 50’s and a few songs only I knew, (thanks GMA Robby and your love of all things music). At one point I explained that there was a time in my life when I could not explain in words to people what I was feeling but that I have always been able to speak through sharing music. At times this is still true, but only when I look back, not in my present life. The 50 something guy exits and then soon after another guy with his lady plays “How far I’ll go” from Moana. His gal was a little embarrassed, so I started singing out loud and dancing around. Nolan my husband was half asleep rolls his eyes. The girl does the same as he explained that the song just makes him have a happy feeling. Now this is what I live for…people interacting feeding off each other, not scared of one another, not intimidated, interacting, like we used to before cell phones came into our world. I do know that without our cell phones there would not have been music at our fingertips, but still you get my point. Someone would have had to have a boom box, on their shoulder and been in hammer pants, ha ha ha. Why not fearlessly be you, love you, be true to you, in moments like these when everyone is looking down and phoning out? You may never encounter the same people in that same place or even ever again. So why not bring the joy, share your bliss, let others see your smile, why not be the light, why not dance around and be silly, why not embrace you, and try to let your happy be contageous??? You are enough you are perfectly imperfect, and you are you perfectly made! Tomorrow when you wake up you are new, and you have a choice to continue just as you are, or to make waves, choose different, to sing and dance on the train, to inspire others to bring the joy to inspire greatness. Whatever you do, get up and start with you. Read, take bath, go for a run, meditate, lay in nature, find your thing and do it. Do it for you, so you can be the best you for others, but to start with so you can be the best you for yourself. I am not retiring these white and bright tennis shoes because they were awesome and sturdy and bright, and they made it through the entire day. These tennis shoes have a few more miles of walking and learning. As always, some day, they will wear out and I will have to trade them in. But that day is not today. Today I am thankful for my grandma she has been a huge pillar in the stability of my life, I am thankful for a husband that laughs with me instead of judging me, and I am thankful for the random and new people that our lives happened upon today, I am thankful for a new day and I am thankful for God’s grace. Until next time, thank you for reading XOXO Lindsay Lou